I have another article on this that has similar beginnings, but this one goes into more detail and has some ways to combat this bad rap.

March 07, 2014

Women’s ministry has gotten a bad reputation lately. I know if you work in women’s ministry, you have noticed it too. Why is that?

Look at men’s ministry. It isn’t harassed. Is it? They have their workdays, prayer breakfasts, a men’s retreat once in a while, and the men go on their merry way. No one holds them responsible for all the ills, the hurts, and the wants in the men’s lives. Do they? Of course not.

On the other hand, women’s ministry programs are held responsible for every lady who ever thought women’s ministry wasn’t catering to her wants and needs. Women’s ministry is held responsible of every wrong and every hurt feeling, tears, and discouragement every women in the body of Christ has ever faced.

We see it in churches. Low attendance and no support for the women’s ministry in local churches is sometimes blamed on past experiences someone may have had. We see it all over the internet. Everyone has a sad sack story to tell about a hurt they’ve encountered in women’s ministry.

What kills me is that they seem to think that they are entitled to tell these stories because someone else might have went through the same thing and they justify themselves that they are helping people.

That’s just sowing discord no matter how they try to justify it. What does God's Word say about that? It says it’s an abomination to God. (Proverbs 6:6-19) That Proverb is talking about the 6 things that God hates and the 7th is an abomination. That 7th thing in that passage is sowing discord.

…and he that soweth discord among brethren. (KJV)

Why do people tend to destroy women’s ministry? More importantly, why do Christians want to run it into the ground?

1. Unhappy people want other people to be unhappy too

Misery loves company.

2. Christians shoot their wounded

Have you ever noticed that? Someone sins and instead of helping them get back on track, we shoot ‘em while they are down.

A Christian gets a divorce and other Christians will either gossip about them or just really keep their distance. Instead of offering a helping hand or praying for that person we kick ‘em while they are down.

It’s the same way with women’s ministry. It gets a bad reputation and Christians want to run it into the ground. Beat it while it’s down. Stomp it.

3. Christians Ministry Profile

You’ve heard of racial profiling. Well, Christians do what I call ministry profiling.

Some people just hear the words “women’s ministry” and pictures of cupcakes and fluff come into their head. Is that characteristic of women’s ministry? No, but people have heard it passed around so much they believe it.

I’m not sure where any of that whole concept comes from in the first place. I don’t think these judgemental people have peeked in to see what women’s ministry is all about these days. The ladies groups I know are full of active vital women working on living holy lives and trying to be more like Christ.

Now are there some poorly run women’s ministry programs out there? Of course there are, but that doesn’t mean they are like that across the board.

4. Discord is Being Sown

It’s not the world that is causing unrest and a lack of unity in and about women’s ministry. It’s disgruntled Christians sowing discord.

5. Hurting people always want to find blame

The world works that way too, so it’s sad that Christians act that way, but they do. Hurting people lash out at others or they target things like women's ministry programs.

There are other reasons I think women’s ministry gets down trodden a little but I think these five are the major things that seem to rise up and fuel the flame of all the bad mouthing and hate that is associated with women’s ministry today.

So, how do we combat this bad rap?

We’ve learned that women’s ministry has this bad reputation and that it is being beat upon on all different sides. Women’s ministry programs have all this stuff coming at them. It’s bruised. It’s beaten. It’s black and blue. So, as women’s leaders and women who care about the fate of women’s ministry in our local churches, what do we do?

Pray

I think we start with prayer. We pray for women’s ministry in general but we pray for each other as leaders. We pray for each other’s women’s groups. We pray for our churches. We pray for every lady within our group. We just pray, pray, pray.

Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:19,20 (KJV)

Encourage Biblical Forgiveness

I have been doing this a long time and I am a lot braver than I used to be. Someone tells me now how they don’t attend women’s ministry because of a bad experience; I ask them if they ever said anything to the leader in charge at the time. Usually the answer is , “Well, no”. Next, I may ask them if they really gave the women’s ministry program a chance or did they go in prepared not to like it? They usually hee-haw around and don’t give a direct answer.

Sometimes we have to remind people of biblical forgiveness. If they are already harboring ill will and hurt, I figure it’s not going to hurt to ask them a few pointed questions. Let’s see…who taught us about biblical forgiveness and to go to the other person in private (not the internet)…let’s see…oh that was Jesus!

Sometimes I think people think God didn’t know about the internet ahead of time. Hello! Jesus knew when He explained forgiveness in private to His disciples that the internet and social media was coming. Those are still the rules He set down for us to follow.

We are supposed to encourage others in the faith. I think we’ve forgotten what encouragement means. It doesn’t mean inspiration and clouds and birds floating by our heads. It means reminding other Christians about God, His Word, and His truths. Encouragement is informing other Christians of biblical principles. Sometimes true encouraging is pointing out sin.

Focus on Unity

We’ve got to stop messing around and just cut out all those things that discourage unity—the gossiping, the backbiting, the ill will toward others. We can’t allow it to have seed and take root in our women’s groups.

Don’t Be a Part of the Problem

Don’t encourage those who put women’s ministry down in any form. Don’t sign those blogs and leave your comments on those articles and things where people have displayed their gripes and don’t write any of your own hateful stories on the internet about women’s ministry. I find that most women that complain about women’s ministry in person or on the internet seem to complain about most everything else in their lives too.

I don’t take too much stock into those complaints. I think most of them are about people having problems with people and they never went to that person and worked it out like Jesus told us to do. They just bring women’s ministry into their gripes.

I’ve read the complaints about not enough Bible study in women’s groups too. Even harping on that I think should be avoided. A person that complains about not having enough Bible study at a ladies meeting probably doesn’t read their Bible on their own. If they did, they would know better than to complain on the internet. There are guidelines about our tongue we are supposed to observe.

I question what kind of church they are attending when they say stuff like that. If they have to depend on Bible study from their women’s group alone and not from their church as a whole or from their own personal Bible study then it’s probably a deeper problem. It probably doesn’t have anything to do with women’s ministry.

If we are not going to be part of the problem, we are going to have to keep our tongues. We need to stay in God’s Word and live holy lives. That’s how we will keep away from sin. We will be busy with what God has for us and all this other stuff won’t even enter in to what we are doing.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

Does women’s ministry have some problems that need taken care of in various areas? Yes. One thing I think of is the commodity that women’s ministry has become. Everybody wants to make money off of it and they’ve forgotten what ministry is. We’ve got women’s ministry packaged up in books, boxes, bags, and every type of container out there. Everyone wants to be a women’s ministry author or start another website to sell their ministry women's wares.

It seems like anything someone does for women’s ministry has to have a price on it. Women write to me all the time and ask me how to make money from women’s ministry. It just kills me to open those emails. It usually starts out, “I feel called to women’s ministry but I can’t do it unless I make money from it.” Kid you not. I have received so many of those type of emails. It’s just so sad. I don’t begrudge anyone from making money. I've sold products from time to time. [I now sell my books through Amazon as a Christian business endeavor] But women’s ministry shouldn’t be just a commodity. If you want to start a Christian business to sell Christian products, just say that. Don't say you want to start a women's ministry. That's totally different.

As leaders, we’ve got to get back to the basics and just teach other women. Let’s leave all that other stuff aside.

Let’s pray for each other as leaders. Let’s encourage each other as Christian women. I think the best way to combat all of this negativity that seems to come hurling at women’s ministry is just to live holy lives and teach our women in our groups to live holy lives. It’s the way we can be different than what the perception is.

Let’s move forward and make a difference in the lives of other women. Let’s just keep on keeping on and let God strengthen us. We don’t have to rely or even listen to what people say about women’s ministry. God told us to teach other women. Let’s just do that. God will bless our efforts. I don’t have any doubt in that.

Copyright ©2014 Julia Bettencourt

See my first article on this, The Bad Rap of Women's Ministry. (Actually I wrote these the same day, but one I used as a guide for a video I did and I kind of just put it in article form for you, so both are on the same topic.)

Find more Hot Topic Articles by Julia here.

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