I only had this article on my blog for a short time but I received so many comments and messages that this one really made people think and look at Mother's Day in a new light, so I hope you will read with an open mind.

April 16, 2019

Motherhood should inspire all of us, no matter what we have been through in life. We just have to understand its purpose—raising children. For Christian mothers it’s all about raising Godly children. Don’t we all want to support that?

How is carrying hurt feelings on our sleeves and not wanting anyone to mention mothers, even on Mother’s Day, going to support that beautiful thing that God put into place called motherhood?

It won’t.

Why are all these “Christian” women going around quoting Proverbs 31, and yet, oh, my goodness, let’s not quote Proverbs 31:28.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Proverbs 31:28. (KJV)

This verse tells me it is okay to praise a mother. Yeah, I even think it is okay to do it in our pulpits.

No matter what you think of Proverbs 31—that it is all about wisdom, that it is about a particular woman, or that it is just a vision or guide of the perfect women—it still mentions praising a mother. Her children are singing her praises!

Honoring Our Mothers

Maybe let’s start by honoring our own mothers, no matter what they are or what they have done. We are to honor our mothers. The Bible says so. It is a commandment.

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.  Exodus 20:12 (KJV)

What? Do we only have 9 commandments because it is going to make people feel uncomfortable or that it is hard to honor a mother that you feel isn’t worthy of honor? Some commandments are just hard. God knew these 10 things in life would be hard for some people, that’s why He made them commandments. He drew our attention to them. He wanted us to obey them.

Promoting Others

I think part of this goes back to that promoting selfishness thing that is so rampant in women’s ministry and Christian women’s circles today. You know, all those crazy mantras of “I matter”, “I’m worthy”, and all those selfish and prideful mantras. Can’t we take our eyes off of ourselves and promote the joy in other people, like mothers? We are none of those things in and of ourselves anyway. Our strength and worthiness only come from Christ. He’s the strong and worthy One!

You know what Paul had to say about all those things that he suffered in his life. Paul said,

Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,  Philippians 3:8 (KJV)

Why is it that just because someone has gone through tragedy, such as miscarriages and infertility, that we as Christians think it is okay for these people not to deal with it and move on with their lives? Why do we think it is okay for them to live in bitterness and hurt? Sure, everyone goes through pain, and I am not discounting that. I went 13 years from my first child to my next. I know it hurts.

But if you are in that pain the rest of your life at such a level that you can’t be happy for another mother EVER, then you have a problem. Motherhood isn’t the problem. That is a beautiful thing that God set in place. Mother’s Day isn’t even the problem, even though it is manmade and sometimes delves into materialism. The problem is pride, bitterness, and looking inward.

Taking an Inward Look

If you are in that place and stay in that place, then get some help and strength from the Lord. Stay in prayer. Ask for forgiveness of any bitterness. Seek counsel. Grab hold of the Scripture. Find joy in the Lord!

If you have a problem with Mother’s Day, look inward and check your heart. Just don’t blame every mother in the world or motherhood in general. Don’t blame God. Don’t blame pastors and churches for mentioning mothers in a service. Don’t write to your pastors or tell them personally that they should be sensitive and not preach on mothers on Mother’s Day. Yes, some women have actually said that they did that in one of my Facebook groups. I’ve even seen crazy articles by so called “Christian” women urging pastors not to preach on mothers on Mother’s Day.

Where does that get us? Nowhere. It just bolsters self and works on stroking ego and pride. It allows women to think it is okay to live in bitterness. You know I have found that bitterness and selfishness are great friends. They work hand in hand together. Why are some people out there encouraging that in the circles of women’s ministry?

Recognizing Sin

My Bible says so much about correcting and guiding other believers that have sin in their life. We are to watch out for those motes in our own eyes, but that doesn’t give us the right to throw out the rest of the passages we are to learn from concerning this. I’m not going to list them all here, but there is so much Scripture about helping our brothers and sisters who persist in sin. If we have to be sensitive to those who have turned their hurt into bitterness, isn’t that a bit counterproductive? We know where bitterness is rooted.

Sticking to the Bible

I have worked closely with women’s ministry for over 30 years, and it saddens me that lately everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon of things that aren’t in line with God’s Word. Things that take us far from that Titus 2 directive. We are told to teach other women to love their children. It’s one of those things in Titus 2 we should be teaching.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.  Titus 2:4 (KJV)

Is that another verse like Proverbs 31:28, that we aren’t supposed to call attention to or to teach now? Ladies, we are to teach the whole counsel of God. If we can’t ever mention mothers. If we can’t ever have Mother’s Day sermons in our churches. If we can’t ever teach on godly mothers. Then how are we to teach our young women to love their children? They need examples in Bible studies and from the pulpit. They need examples in real life. They need teaching on it throughout the year, not just on Mother’s Day.

Look at the state of our families. The failing unit of the family is so apparent in this old sinful world. We need all those sermons and teaching on godly motherhood. We need to hear those examples. We need to delve into it. We need our pastors to preach it from our pulpits and we need to bring it into our Bible studies.

We are directed in God’s Word to be teaching other women. On top of that, we are to be “teachers of good things”. (Titus 2:3) Why are Christian women falling so prey to teaching things that aren’t good and aren’t sound? It baffles my mind.

Supporting Moms

So, I’m over here just waving my flag for Mother’s Day. I will support it. Not the commercial side of it. That’s a different thing, but I will honor mothers on Mother’s Day. I will get behind any pastor that wants to preach a Mother’s Day sermon. I will support any women’s ministry that wants to have a Mother’s Day event and actually call it a Mother’s Day event. I’m all for it.

As a side note, why do we attend a Veteran’s Day service when we aren’t veterans? Why do we attend a Children’s Day service when we aren’t a child? Why do we attend anything that is labeled for a certain group when we aren’t in that group?

The answer...because we are honoring them! It’s not about us! We don’t have to call a Mother’s Day tea something else to include every other woman if we are having it to honor mothers.

Ladies, can’t we do better? Can’t we get past all the hurt and self-pity that surrounds this issue and let mothers have just one day? I think we can give just one day out of the year that we honor mothers in a public way.

Looking Deeper at the Problem

I’ve heard women say that Mother’s Day hurts them. Why are you allowing that? Why are you letting one day a year knock you down? If you have a problem with Mother’s Day hurting you, then that is just a sign that you must be hurting the rest of the year. It’s not Mother’s Day. You have a problem with motherhood. Motherhood shouldn’t be your enemy. God instituted it. He gave us mothers. Don’t hate it. Check your own life and heart. Hating Mother’s Day and not wanting anyone else to honor the moms out there won’t give you any comfort or peace. Only giving it all over to Jesus can do that. Jesus is the Healer.

Even if you have lost a mother, lost a child, went through infertility, or have had a bad mother— living in the hurt isn’t the answer. Trying to take away the blessing of Mother’s Day from all those moms out there isn’t the answer. Deal with the hurt. Run to the Lord. Seek His strength.

You can do so much when you are going in the strength of the Lord. Don’t go it alone. Why would you want to live that way? And why would so many want to ask pastors not to preach about mothers and motherhood on Mother’s Day and try to tell other women that it is wrong to honor mothers on Mother’s Day?

Allowing Others to get the Honor

Allow others to have the honor that is due them.

Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.  Romans 13:7 (KJV)

Allow others to praise their mothers in the streets (and from the pulpits and from the podium of a Mother’s Day tea.). Stop picking on motherhood. It is just a form of bullying. “Christian” bullying isn’t any better than what the world does. Can’t Christian women be better than that? It all goes back to working together and lifting each other up in the body of Christ. Those verses in Ephesians are so important.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:29-32 (KJV)

Realizing Motherhood is a Gift from God

Motherhood is beautiful. It is a gift from God. He instituted it. Can everyone be a mother? No, maybe not in a biological way. Does that make you less of a person if you can’t be a mother? No. That might not be God’s plan for you, but don’t allow it to make you bitter, and don’t encourage those that are bitter about it to wallow in that hurt and bitterness. Supporting that is not lifting each other up. That’s not helping those people.

You may try to tell yourself that if we knock at Mother’s Day, that if we get pastors to stop preaching their Mother’s Day sermons, that if we stop calling women’s events in May a Mother’s Day event, that it will make those people going through infertility, that have lost children, and make those with bad mothers to feel more comfortable. You may say it is more sensitive, but I fear that you are just kidding yourself.

You may try to tell yourself that kind of philosophy is more sensitive, but what are you being sensitive to? When the Bible talks about being “kind” and “tenderhearted” it isn’t talking about being sensitive to sin. When someone allows hurt to manifest itself as bitterness or pride, even if it is surrounding the topic of motherhood, it is still sin. Yeah, pride is listed right up there in the sin God hates. (Proverbs 6:17)

And if you go on down into that chapter of Proverbs, look what it says in verse 19. What else does God hate?

…and he that soweth discord among brethren.  Proverbs 6:19 (KJV)

Yep! Those that go around stirring up trouble among the brethren. That’s exactly what these people are doing when they try to get on the bandwagon to tell pastors what to preach and what not to preach on Mother’s Day.

Final Thoughts

If you are a Christian woman and can’t find joy in your heart to uplift and honor other mothers on Mother’s Day, then ask yourself some tough questions. Where is your pain and hurt stemming from? Are you bitter? Are you truly walking and talking with God? Are you living in the hurt? Are you trying to push your hurt and bitterness on to other people? Are you encouraging sin?

I think I will close this now. I just want you all to really look before you leap onto these platforms. Check out the philosophy. Is it aligned to God’s Word? I’m probably on a platform all by myself waving my flag for Mother’s Day, but that’s okay. I find joy in supporting other mothers. I have a love in my heart for all those moms out there that work tirelessly to feed, clothe, and nurture their children. And I applaud those women who are writing God's Word on the hearts of their children and bringing them up to serve the Lord.

Cheers to all of you moms!! I’m happy for you if you are a biological mom, a mom of adopted children, foster moms, or even if you were blessed with the opportunity to mother and support someone who needed some mothering.

Enjoy that day that is all your own. Put your feet up. Bask in a little pampering. Pamper yourself if you have to. Just kick back and enjoy Mother’s Day and don’t you let anyone make you feel bad about enjoying it. You deserve it!

So, do you have joy in your heart to honor those moms out there?

Copyright ©2019 Julia Bettencourt.

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