August 18, 2023

Yep. Technology is out there, and our women use it constantly, so just be aware that not everyone is wanting everything shared in a public way.

Face it. We don't all always think alike when it comes to technology involving photos and videos and what should and shouldn't be posted online. We will never all agree on what is right and wrong for this issue. When we are on our own, we just normally do what we think is right for us as individuals. But when we are responsible for the wellbeing of other women in our care at a church event, then that technology thing can get tricky.

It's not Just a Picture to some Women

Regrettably, when it comes to photos and videos, other people can take them without our knowledge, without our permission, and sometimes without us even knowing they were posted online or texted to all of our friends until way later down the road. It might be a photo of you! And what are photos and videos if anything? Well, they are personal. It seems we should get a say in what people do to us when it's personal. Right? Well, unfortunately we can't have control over other people and their phones and who and what they take pictures of and where and when they want to upload or share them.

Guarding the privacy of the women we lead

As leaders though, we can try to do the right thing. When women enter our church facilities and our gathering places for women, we should try to make it the safest place we can. Sometimes that means asking our attendees not to take pictures of people without asking permission. It's just the kind and courteous thing to do.

I personally think it should be like that announcement before a movie about putting your phones away or in an airplane before a flight and the flight attendant gives that announcement about the seatbelt and folding tray and those things. We should be programmed when we come into a church building or a women's ministry gathering to not take photos without permission when it comes to other people. Technology has changed our lives and there are just some things we have to take note to do that we never had to think about before taking photos was so easy and accessible.

And yes, I know, as most people do, that photos taken in a public place can be taken and posted anywhere without permission, and that's legal in most places. However, that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

Look at the reasons for privacy

We have to consider why some of our women may not want their photos taken and posted online. Yes, even photos taken at church and women's events.

Okay, let's think about that for a moment. Why don't some women want their photos taken and sent through texts and uploaded online to social accounts?

• Some women don't want their images on the internet just because they are private people.
• Some women are worried about fraud and identity theft if someone gets their photo and details.
• Some women may have past abusive relationships and don't want their whereabouts known.
• Some women may be in occupations such as the prison system, the government, as a counsellor to mentally unstable patients, and so forth and don't want their whereabouts or anything personal about them posted online because it could put them or their family in danger.
• Some women may just be particular about what images of them are shared in a public way. It's that perfection syndrome. Hey I have that! So, I quite understand.
• Some women may have body image issues and find images shared of them in public very stressful. I've had weight issues in the past, so I understand this. Overweight and underweight people normally do their best to stay away from photos. Also, we have women who may hate parts of their body like their eyes, their nose, their hair, and so on and don't enjoy having photos taken. It can be very painful to see yourself in the light that you do when you have body image issues.
• Some women are teaching their children not to post their photos so those women of course don't want their photos posted because they may feel it hurts what they are teaching as a parent.
• Some women just have low self-esteem and don't want their photos taken and posted online.

Don't allow trust to fail

Being caught on camera in our women's ministry and in a church environment can really cause the trust to fail in a big hurry. That type of hurt is personal to someone who feels their privacy was violated because of photos and videos of them being put online without their permission. A little bit of sensitivity for those who don't want their life in public can go a long way.

Having photos of yourself posted online might not bother you, but you have to be sensitive to others whether you think it's a big deal or not, because to some women it is a big deal. Privacy can be very important to people so as a leader, don't willingly encroach on it. It can be very stressful and hurtful for some women to wake up one day and find out their photo or a video of them has been posted to their church website for everyone to see. That can make them feel very violated. Remember to them it is not just a picture or video.

You may have to set some policies into motion

We have to work at getting our ladies used to asking for permission from others before taking photos and videos and posting them in public. As leaders, we have to teach them it is the courteous thing to do (even if it may be legal to record in a public place).

I think it goes back to that fruit of the Spirit that we sometimes don't talk about much. You know the one. Self-control. The King James calls it "temperance" in Galatians 5:23. But no matter how you say it, it means to control your actions and behavior. It means to have restraint. How much self-control and restraint do we have when it comes to our cell phones?

Treat people with love and respect

We have to remember how Jesus treated people. He treated them with love. I know that WWJD is a little overworked, but this is one of those circumstances you might want to ask yourself that question. WWJD? I really doubt that He would take photos and post them of people without their permission. He had compassion for people.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another... Colossians 3:12-13

If you don't have a photo taking policy in place for your women's activities and events, I urge you to consider one. I know we can't control people, but just a gentle reminder that it is the courteous and the kind thing to do to ask permission ahead of time before taking a photo of someone might make a difference.

Copyright ©2023 Julia Bettencourt.

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