THE ORIGINAL SOURCE FOR WOMEN'S LEADERS SINCE 2001
working toward a people focused church generation and not an event based church generation
Simply Finding What is Important
Julia Bettencourt
March 27, 2019
I believe there is a great need to find out what is important when it comes to church ministry related events. Why are we doing all the things we do to decorate and go overboard in how we plan?
Several years ago, I went to a lady’s retreat with some girlfriends from church. It was at a church that was a few hours away. I don’t remember what they called it, but they had a beach theme going on during that event. I can remember walking in and everything coming at me and hitting me with full force. There were fish nets, fake fish, real life savers (not the candy kind), and all types of nautical stuff everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean literally everywhere.
There were beachy and nautical decorations in the hallways, in the cafeteria, and in the sanctuary. It was on the ceilings, on the walls, and on the tables. There wasn’t any area or space that wasn’t covered in something or that didn’t have a display of some type of nautical menagerie. There was even a real huge full-scale sailboat in a corner. It wasn't a decor sailboat.
I can remember feeling so strangled that I couldn’t breathe. Overwhelming décor and such busyness can make a person feel that way. I remember thinking that I would go into the bathroom and maybe freshen up my makeup or something just to be able to relax my brain for a second. I vividly remember opening the bathroom door and shuddering. The nautical theme continued in there too.
There were nets hanging down with seashells in the corner by the sinks, seashells all over the counter, and when I turned around, there were surfboards and boogie boards hanging on every single bathroom stall. It was a big church and there were about ten bathroom stalls. I went into one of those stalls and as I closed the door, yep, believe it or not, there were nautical posters on the inside of the doors. I felt like I was in some kind of funhouse at an amusement park.
I laugh as I look back on it now, but I just wanted to get out of there so badly. I just felt so very uncomfortable. I was trapped till it was over because I had traveled to the retreat with some other ladies from our church.
It surely wasn’t like a relaxing beach, that is for sure. My main goal in even going in the first place was to get away and relax and fellowship with other sisters in Christ. I sat through the sessions, but there were so many things hanging from the sanctuary ceiling and an overly decorated stage that it was really hard not to look around and just stare. I had a hard time focusing on what the speakers actually had to say.
I have been to many a women’s retreat over the years, so I have seen just about every type of retreat carried out, but I can’t help but wonder if this type of thing made me feel so uncomfortable, then what must a newcomer or one that doesn’t know Christ feel like when they encounter an overly decorated and themed out event. Or think about someone that rarely goes to church when they attend something like this.
What must go through their minds when they experience overly decorated and grandiose ministry events? I’m sensing that they probably think that those Christians must have too much time on their hands. Or they are thinking about the amount of money someone was willing to spend and waste. I can’t see how it would make them feel comfortable and at ease. There is such a difference between being hospitable and just decorating.
Hospitality comes from our hearts and is people focused. Yes, it seems we always come back to that. People. People are what is important. People are what we should be focusing on when it comes to ministry. Simply people.
I know I've mentioned this a lot of times, but as women's leaders, you never know what the women in your group and in your church may be going through at the moment. We don't always see the stuff on someone else's plate. We get that blinder vision and all we see is the meat, potatoes, and the rest of those veggies in plain sight right in front of us on our own plate. Maybe we even spy our dessert in the corner, but there is just no way of knowing what is on the plate of another woman unless we get to know them, unless we seek them out and care for them.
I know sometimes I talk about how we have a lot of hurting women in our churches because we do and that's life. Sometimes it's hard, but we must start helping our women unbury themselves from their burdens. We have to care for them. We have to pray for them. Like I mentioned, we see our own plate, but some women have their plate piled with corn husks, banana peels, nutshells, and more. They are trying to fork around and find the good stuff and it's hard for them because life gets tough and the garbage of life piles high. And most of those women don't even get dessert.I'm not saying all fluff in women's ministry activities is a bad thing. Sometimes fluff is the thing required, but we need to watch out for overdoing it because just like that beachy event I went to, it can end up like a circus with so much confusion that nobody gets anything out of it. I'm reminded of that verse in Philippians. We have to have moderation in everything we do. We have to free ourselves from the excesses in anything we do.
Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Philippians 4:5 (KJV)
We must set aside all those excesses in life, even if those excesses are in ministry. We must start caring for women and loving them because people are simply important.
Copyright ©2019 Julia Bettencourt
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